Do One Thing Every Day That Scares You

May 18 2013

I've been fighting a lack of energy all week, since the full marathon really. I've been in bed before most children this week, barely getting home from work having a quick nibble and then tucking myself in. I've had to catch the bus rather than cycle and sit down when ever possible (a little hard to do when your a physio and your job involves standing on your feet all day fixing people). Gee what ever has attacked my immune system has got me well.

With the forecast for rain and my rebuilding energy the day out cycling was put on hold and instead saying yes to some last minute plans proved to be the right choice.

Some days you really have to make your self look for the positives to remind yourself of each day of beauty and things to be grateful for. Other days you just feel you are where you are meant to be. Today has been one of those.

I often have a hard time deciding if I love the Mountains or the Ocean more, lucky for me I live somewhere, where I can have access to both so easily and continue to appreciate both for their own unique beauty. Both are perfect places for meditation and reflection, adventure and thrill. Yes I'm so grateful I get to live in Vancouver.

Mo and his brothers have a beautiful sailing yacht. His brothers sailed it over from Victoria overnight and we met them at Granville Island in the morning. 11 of us set out for a day out on the ocean. It started out with stormy clouds and droplets of rain but the excitement, energy and ethusiansm of everyone on board was still evident. We were all glad to be here.

The wind didn't pick up as predicted to begin with so once we were past the mandatory motor place, set the sails and waited. Okay wind anytime now, haha!

Meanwhile we had some amazing chefs on board, gee these guys surprised me in a lovely pleasant sort of way, not only did they know how to cook delicious food, they also cleaned up after themselves too. What a refreshing change :-)

While the wind was sorting itself out, we got to know each other and what a great energy the group held. I'm always grateful for meeting new people and feel that extra special connection at times when you know you were just meant to meet that certain someone for what ever the reason.

Fears were tested as we each climbed the mast, with a chest harness on I tried to remind myself its no different than top rope climbing in the gym. It felt that way at first until I had to haul myself over the half way point when it was too long a reach to the next grab point. Then I had to hang on for dear life as some big (well they felt big when I was way up there) waves from the wake of the larger boats come along. Of course if I had of let go I was locked off, but your not thinking clearly like that when up so high and the mast is bending as the yacht is rolling. The views from up there were spectacular and once I got most of the way back down, Mo climbed above me and captured some great shots, Thanks Mo! Once I was back down I wondered how in massive swell or bad storms they keep there cool climbing so high and being swung around up there, brave....
"Do one thing every day that scares me" TICK

The delicious food kept coming including a BBQ of meat, vegies and potatoes off the back of the yacht. I thought only Australians knew how to BBQ but apparently the Canadians do too :-)

When the music stopped and everyone just closed their eyes you could feel that breeze of air on your skin, hear that 'silence' of the waves lapping against the hull and the gentle flapping at the sails. You know you are where you are meant to be....

I tried to learn a little about sailing such a large yacht but often probably got in the way more than helping. Instead today was more about enjoying the company of those on board, building my energy back up through resting and as the sun decided to join us and the wind picked up we sailed away.......

Until it was time to turn around (turning around we did quite a lot today) and come back again... Honestly I could have just kept sailing I had no intention of wanting to return....

Thanks so much to the wonderful group on board, to Mo and his brothers for sharing their beautiful yacht it was such a wonderful day out. I look forward to more sailing adventures.

Sorry Mo couldn't resist this shot!!!

Hike to the top of an active Volcano in beautiful sunny skies, YES PLEASE!!!

Mt Saint Helen's
2549m height (8363 feet)
Altitude gained: 1380m or 4500 feet
14.5km/ 9 miles round trip
Time up: 5 hours
Time down: unsure but felt like we lost most of the altitude over 1 hour due to glissading almost all the way to tree line
Date: May 11th 2013

I'd heard of Mount Saint Helens when I lived in Vancouver the first time back in 2011 but hadn't given it a second thought since I'd returned in October. When the wanderung call out came though for a last minute opening, I jumped at the opportunity and was lucky enough to get included with a fantastic fun and fit bunch of new friends, my only concern was how my fitness was going to be.....

Having just run my first full marathon the sunday before I'd found the week pretty tough. Unlike me I wasn't getting much sleep, averaging around 4 hours or less each night, had pretty (well very sore legs) only being able to start walking pain free from Wednesday onwards. still going to work and trying to continue with my paperwork for PR (permament residency) each night after work.

Friday came all too quickly and I was super excited for the road trip ahead. There were 9 of us in total, 3 cars of 3 that left Vancouver at different times for the long drive to Cougar Washington (5+ hours plus border wait time, and finally as the token Aussie I didn't hold our car up with immigration issues)

I traveled with Bill and Ross who were great company and seeing as we had no road trip music (I know mistake number one) well we did make the most of the radio when we could, it gave us plenty of time to get to know each other though being in the back seat most of the time I could only hear part of the conversation and made up for the lack of sleep by nodding off from time to time. We stopped quickly for a delcious dinner of Vietnamese and continued driving arriving at close to 1:30am to setup tents. Our car was the last to arrive and everyone else was still awake either setting up tents or waiting for us to arrive but we just said hi's set up our tents and got to sleep.

I'm used to starting mountain hikes early, partly due to my experience mountaineering and partly as I'd rather have time on my side in case people are slower or things go wrong. It felt strange for me that we didn't set off until 10am though everyone definetly needed the sleep in after the late night and daylight didn't actually become an issue at all for the day.

The first couple of km's of the hike were flattish with just a gradual incline. The snow was soft but the path so well trodden that snowshoes weren't needed and poles just helped to sturdy. I was surprised at how slow I was compared to the group yet even at this stage couldn't muster any increase in energy or speed and already found I was puffing and sweating more than I normally would. Wow was this going to be a long mentally tough day.

The flat soon finished and from this point on for the next 5 hours it was up, up and you guessed it more up. Today was the last day of predicted sunshine and also the last weekend before the permits and limited number of people (only 100 per day) kicked in so hence the volcano was busy!!!! In fact that evening we found out 670 people went up that day, WOW!!!!

I'd been told by Greg my friend that mothers day everyone hikes up in dresses, still not sure what the relevance is of this to mothers day but as the sunday was forecast to be rainy and overcast it seemed everyone had decided to wear dresses on the saturday instead. We were actually the minority of people who didn't have dresses on (including lots of guys I passed or passed me) It was quite a sight to see there were some awesome dresses out there. Lots of people boot pack up to enjoy the ski/snowboard turns and quick decent back down, all of us were on boots,snowshoes or crampons.

Having not known anyone on this trip before I held no illusions that I'd be at the same pace as them but I didn't envison I would feel such a lack of energy. The last time my body had felt this weak on a hike was my first ever mountineering trip in Peru , climbing Mt Pisco and that was at an altitude of 5750m. It really felt like I was taking 10 steps and stopping to catch my breath, my legs felt like lead and my mind kept remiding me that I hike for fun and the enjoyment of being outdoors and meeting people why the hell was I doing this when I clearly right then was not having fun.....

The group did wait at certain points for each of us to catch up which was nice. Though they were often ready to get moving by the time I caught them up, it was nice to touch base with them all. Essentially I hiked the mountain solo though, the path was easily visible I was never worried about my skill as there were no crevasses and it was not at all technical just pure stamina and an uphill slog.

We had the most gorgeous views of Mt Adams and Mt Rainer in the background as well as being able to see all the little ants (people from a distance) making their way up. In hindsight as hot as it was hiking this uphill in the hottest part of the day (having started late) it did mean we had the paths to ourself more and even at the top it was just Danielle, Shane and myself at the crator rim for a little while which was amazing.

I even saw one guy come back down and physically pick up his girlfriend and carry her, even he overtook me now that's saying something!!! Another guy mistook me for his girlfriend and from a distance he flashed me lifting up his dress when I made a comment in an obvious aussie accent he was so embarrassed and apologetic stating he was just trying to motivate his girlfriend by being funny but didn't realise I indeed wasn't her! I laughed so hard and told him no worries, I hike and camp a lot with guys and have learned anything goes (thanks Tassie days : -) ....

My mind kept bugging me and my energy continued to waver, it became a one step in front of the other slog up for me. This running quote from a website surely tells how I was trying to coax my mind through the worst of it and how our mindset can impact on so many things we do each day in our lives see below:

"The sometimes overwhelming desire to quit comes from the mind whispering 'I can't' or 'I'm not good enough, strong enough, smart enough.' Whatever. Enough. We can be our own worst enemies when it comes to those doubts and negative self-talk. Being around people with positive attitudes helps, but ultimately it has to come from within. In the darkest times, no amount of schmaltzy platitudes will get you through it. When it counts, when you have to pull through, what you need is grit. You wrestle that bear to the ground, chasing it out of your psyche. You remind yourself that it's easy to quit but hard to live with it afterward—it can turn into a virus that spreads and becomes an uncontrollable urge."

Eventually I made it and though the cornice on the top meant we couldn't peer straight down into the volcano it was an amazing feeling standing on a crater rim of an active volcano. Silly me thought I'd be able to see lava it was only ever going to be steam... (thanks for the clarification Ross, our very own geologist giving us a greater understanding of our surroundings :-)

In hindsight if I was feeling as bad as I was I probably should have asked if one of them would stay with me, but I knew deep down I'm stubborn enough with enough mental strength to just toughen up and keep going, and my fierce independent side had a hard enough time admitting to the group just how badly I was feeling.

Coming back down was so much fun. I descended with Danielle and Shane and we had lots of chats and laughs as we glissaded our way back down. My legs and mind were both thankful that due to the recent sunny warm weather the snow had melted enough that glissading was loads of fun and enough people had been doing it that toboggan like tunnels had appeared and it was completely safe going down this way. (Glissading = bum sliding on the snow)

I thought I'd had a mentally and physically tough day but congrats goes to Bill who seemed to be having just as tough a time, yet didn't give up and still made it to the crator. So that was our whole team of 9 who were able to get to the crater rim of an active volcano on a clear sunny day early spring how cool is that :-)

Group Shot - Courtesy of Alex

Dinner was a great chance for us to get to know each other better, what great laughs we had and yes Shannon that pink singlet (tank top) really was the best :-)

Ape Caves info

The next day the groups split up a bit deciding on what they had wanted to do. 6 of us went to the Ape cave system where we spent a couple of hours in darkness (except for our headlamsp) self exploring this amazing cave system, It was a 2 mile length lava tube. I highly recommend this to anyone who comes to the area it was fantastic. We finished our time by visiting the vistor center and appreciating even more what we'd acheived the day before realising what Mt Saint Helens once looked like prior to the first eruption and how it really could erupt again any day soon.

I found this trip to be an emotional one, my first real mountain trip since losing Rimon to the mountains, a physically exhausting one for what ever the reason and a very grateful one to be on a trip with an amazingly energetic and fun group. A big thank you to Alex for organising such a wonderful trip, I know how much effort goes into doing that. I'm grateful to have made a bunch of fit new friends who also love exploring and being out in the outdoors and hope I can get out on more adventures with them, next time with a little more energy.... WHATS NEXT ??? watch this space....